Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Disturbed :(
it's 4 am in e morning and i am awaken by my sis's calls and messages. she has returned back to yesterday.. thoughts of committing suicide and she nearly did it again. thank god i threatened to kill my self if she did anytink to herself and i really meant it. i dont know whether i will be alive for long with in this life with my sis in such problems.. i might just end off my life to avoid it all 2gether.. anw how long can i live when my greatest support at e moment. my sis, is giving up on her life? 2mr might just be my last day of my life. but then again i want to take care of father, sister and brother. show to the world tt gals can also raise their parents not only guys.. since my brother is still young.. i want to take over tt duty..if not for them, i wuld have ended my life a long time ago..
Thursday, May 24, 2007
thursday.. so fun!!
The day was great today except in e morning. wah lah. suddenly the teachers came to e library.
i was sleeping when mr lee ck came inside. then i woke up with a start and pretended to read e book i had with me. oh yea. this reminds me.i havent finish reading the book.looks like i am not going to sleep today.
have to give 2mr ady. then he said "do dnt, dont read a book". then i was like ok.
then next came ms wong and told me "do history" then i was like wth!!
so i just ignored both of them and continue my own reading. then later so many teachers came then ran away frm der then went to e canteen with yue mei. we talked then later after recess had lessons. then after tt went to kovan to buy farewell & birthday present for ms yeo she is leaving 2mr so is mr thoufic.
Then stayed in skool just to kill time as i always do. by then jovin and friends were going home.
After a while fauzy called to ask me whether i was still in skool and i said yes then he asked me to help him see whether he left his wallet in e basketball court in skool.I then went to search and heng found it. so relieved.
Gave him a call then i kept it and going to return to him 2mr. he wanted to treat me but i rejected. very happy tt i had a chance t help my friend and thank him for having tt trust tt i wil keep his wallet and return it to him 2mr.
he has a surprise for me 2mr. wahh!! he keep me in suspense!!! anw after tt ms yeo came and we took a pic.
Later ms yeo, mr thaufic, ms nureen and mr lim were roller blading! how i wished i could join them!! yay.
My leg now all right ady, can play PE. but still havent done my NAFA test yet. haiz. then after tt when i was reading my book at the student lounge, ms yeo came over to talk to me then later mr thoufic joined us.
It was so fun talking to them. we talked abt so many things. frm one topic it lead to another topic. realli so sad tt both of them are leaving 2mr. it's their last day in bartley 2mr. but they willl be visiting the skool!! yay!! have to go meet my sis now!! never meet her for one whole week ady!! FINALLY get to meet her. YAY!!!!
i was sleeping when mr lee ck came inside. then i woke up with a start and pretended to read e book i had with me. oh yea. this reminds me.i havent finish reading the book.looks like i am not going to sleep today.
have to give 2mr ady. then he said "do dnt, dont read a book". then i was like ok.
then next came ms wong and told me "do history" then i was like wth!!
so i just ignored both of them and continue my own reading. then later so many teachers came then ran away frm der then went to e canteen with yue mei. we talked then later after recess had lessons. then after tt went to kovan to buy farewell & birthday present for ms yeo she is leaving 2mr so is mr thoufic.
Then stayed in skool just to kill time as i always do. by then jovin and friends were going home.
After a while fauzy called to ask me whether i was still in skool and i said yes then he asked me to help him see whether he left his wallet in e basketball court in skool.I then went to search and heng found it. so relieved.
Gave him a call then i kept it and going to return to him 2mr. he wanted to treat me but i rejected. very happy tt i had a chance t help my friend and thank him for having tt trust tt i wil keep his wallet and return it to him 2mr.
he has a surprise for me 2mr. wahh!! he keep me in suspense!!! anw after tt ms yeo came and we took a pic.
Later ms yeo, mr thaufic, ms nureen and mr lim were roller blading! how i wished i could join them!! yay.
My leg now all right ady, can play PE. but still havent done my NAFA test yet. haiz. then after tt when i was reading my book at the student lounge, ms yeo came over to talk to me then later mr thoufic joined us.
It was so fun talking to them. we talked abt so many things. frm one topic it lead to another topic. realli so sad tt both of them are leaving 2mr. it's their last day in bartley 2mr. but they willl be visiting the skool!! yay!! have to go meet my sis now!! never meet her for one whole week ady!! FINALLY get to meet her. YAY!!!!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
No more control of my emotions
I feel so horrible inside out. Why r things in such a rush!! i am so lost. ms yeo also leaving this friday.
sigh.i will really miss her. my strength is slowly fading away frm me. i have no one to turn to at the moment. facing everything all alone. suddenly all the problems just come be4 me and i dont know wad to do.
prelim results also very bad. have to see the HOD to get my report book. dnt failed... both folio and theory. i am so angry at myself. now i am not able to study. the feeling inside me really makes me sad.
not able to concentrate on wad i want to do. self reflecting on wad i have done for the past 17 years..
feel so useless. so much problems. hard to deal with. no one is here to comfort me.. it's just me by myself. worse thing my family is not by my side.. realli miss them. feel so jealous and sad when i see other families 2gether.. i feel like giving up ady.. SIGH. losing control of my emotions... it's just taking over me. no appetite yet ate so much without knowing.
sigh.i will really miss her. my strength is slowly fading away frm me. i have no one to turn to at the moment. facing everything all alone. suddenly all the problems just come be4 me and i dont know wad to do.
prelim results also very bad. have to see the HOD to get my report book. dnt failed... both folio and theory. i am so angry at myself. now i am not able to study. the feeling inside me really makes me sad.
not able to concentrate on wad i want to do. self reflecting on wad i have done for the past 17 years..
feel so useless. so much problems. hard to deal with. no one is here to comfort me.. it's just me by myself. worse thing my family is not by my side.. realli miss them. feel so jealous and sad when i see other families 2gether.. i feel like giving up ady.. SIGH. losing control of my emotions... it's just taking over me. no appetite yet ate so much without knowing.
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